I want Jason to be my best friend always. But I want more than friendship. I want sex with him too. I love him. But I'm not sure marriage is what I really want. I want him in the country. But starting a family together? I still want to kill myself. I still want to just leave everything on this planet.
Cedric and I used to talk about going together. He left without me. He's the one who got away. I'm stuck.
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